Remember that scene in Mean Girls where the Plastics all stare at their reflections in the mirror and talk about the different things that they hate about themselves? I remember watching it when I was about 13 and thinking “so I guess this is what being a teenager is”. Except that wasn’t what my teen self did. Yes, I had insecurities and things I didn’t love about myself but I never saw the purpose of critiquing yourself constantly, especially in a group setting. When friends of mine would go on the needless rants about what they hated or wanted to change, I played the dutiful friend card and let them know they were crazy and that they were beautiful.
Well, I’m 28 years old and I’m still waiting for that moment where everyone around me stops criticizing themselves. I’m waiting for the minute for my closest friends, some of the most amazing women in my life, to stop comparing themselves to what they’re seeing on Instagram. I could go on a rant about how the people on Instagram don’t even look like that, but that’s not even the point. I want everyone to stop comparing themselves to what they’re seeing because, as corny as it sounds, everyone is absolutely beautiful in their own way.
Your Superpower is that You are YOU
You’re not as skinny as an Instagram model? You look beautiful anyways. Your face isn’t perfectly clear or blemish-free? You look beautiful anyways. Your stomach isn’t flat and your arms and legs aren’t toned as hell? Well you’re beautiful as fuck anyways.
We’ve somehow allowed ourselves to be convinced to constantly judge our own appearances and be horrible to ourselves all because we don’t look like someone else. Just think about that for a second; we literally hate on ourselves because we don’t look like someone else. How messed up is that? It’s as if we don’t even give ourselves a chance. How can we hate ourselves for literally looking like ourselves? It’s a lose-lose situation because everyday you’re going to wake up as yourself. So why fight it? Instead of constantly fighting yourself, just embrace you.
I’m not saying this as the world’s most confident woman. Trust me, there are things that I’d like to change about myself and I feel inferior to other women or like I need to make myself fit a certain mold in order to be considered beautiful. None of us are immune. But those thoughts aren’t the majority for me, they’re not what I allow to rule my mind and they’re not the dominant ones that I have about myself. Maybe it’s from growing up with a father who always made sure I knew my own worth or it’s from being surrounded by strong women, but I refuse to allow someone else’s standard of beauty rule my mind or allow my mind to be filled with negative, hateful thoughts.
Self Love Starts Here
The comparisons and the criticizing and the self-hate need to end. Now. Let’s try something new instead. Every morning when you wake up, let your first thoughts of the day be about gratitude and appreciation. Everyday when you’re scrolling through Instagram and you see yourself scrolling past the accounts that, for whatever reason, make you feel anything less than 1000% confident, unfollow them. If you’re around someone who makes you feel anything less than amazing, cut them out. Drop them like a bad habit.
There’s so much hatred and darkness in this world, there’s no reason for you to bring that into your own head. You need to be your own advocate. You need to be your biggest fan. If you wouldn’t say the comment that you’re currently thinking to yourself to your best friend or your own mother, then do not say it to yourself.